Yes, you read that title correctly.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with me or you, we are completely perfect beings.
So, who or what is telling you otherwise?
For literally my entire life I have felt like something was wrong. And I internalized the feeling into thinking. Thinking that it was me. For years, I tried so hard to be better at life.
If I could only accomplish one more task in the day, get in one more fitness class for the week, complete another training or certification, eat less sugar, help more people in need, maybe then I would feel “better.”
Maybe then I would heal this inner struggle that has always been there. The real struggle between head and heart that no one is immune to.
So, who or what is telling you otherwise?
Since childhood I have been diagnosed and prescribed medication for numerous ailments. It truly seemed like something was actually wrong with me when I would come home with a diagnosis or a prescription.
I did feel alone. I was embarrassed about what was happening to me, because no one that I knew was actively sharing similar health challenges. I wasn’t talking about what was happening to me either because I really didn’t know what to make of it. It just didn’t make any sense.
What did I know? I was just a person, not an educated doctor.
Today, I tell a different story, one where I am the advocate for my own health and wellness. I tell the story of taking ownership of my health and my life.
Today I know we are ONE, we ALL have human responses to life which reveal themselves as “symptoms.” These symptoms are our bodies way of communicating, they aren’t to be ignored and brushed off, they arise for a reason.
So, if you are currently experiencing a pain in your body, a strong sensation, or your healthcare provider is offering a diagnosis, I encourage you to pay attention, and get quiet with yourself. Be patient, be curious, healing is like a spiral, and know REPAIR IS POSSIBLE. I’m living proof!
Below is a comprehensive list of all the times in my life (that I can remember) that I was diagnosed and prescribed various medications or treatments.
Chronic ear infections, prescribed antibiotics
Fluoride deficiency, prescribed fluoride
Depression and anxiety, panic attacks, prescribed Prozac
Severely painful, debilitating menstruation that prevented me from going to school and work, prescribed Ibuprofen
Hormonal/stress acne, prescribed birth control pills
Anemia, prescribed iron, which is constipating
Constipation, told to take Metamucil fiber supplement
Heart Palpitation, told to return for follow-up
Malignant melanoma (stage 1), removal of cancerous cells. I was told to stay out of the sun and visit the dermatologist every 3 months for the remainder of my life.
ADHD and test anxiety, prescribed Ritalin and psychotherapy
Lumps in breasts, Dr. said it was water
Continued Painful Periods that lasted 8-9 days, severe clotting, debilitating pain
Hormonal imbalance and pregnancy prevention, birth control pills that I ingested for 12 years consistently.
Chronic stomach pain, I prescribed myself marijuana because thats all that helped
Chronic viral infections, no prescription
Chronic yeast infections, prescribed Diflucan
Continued debilitating menstruation with the addition of severe irritability and anxiety
Mild to severe Depression, Psychotherapy
Postpartum Depression, I was offered anti-depressants but I declined
Adrenal fatigue, prescribed numerous herbal neurotransmitters supplements
PMS and low estrogen, prescribed a topical estrogen creme, and Maca
PTSD, for which I was guided to find a psychologist
Fatigue and malaise, suggested to decrease my level of stress
Extreme fatigue with Insomnia, I was so exhausted, but I couldn’t fall asleep at night, nor could I sleep during the day. I refused sleep inducing drugs
Sleep deprivation that led to debilitating migraine headaches which caused sensitivity to all lights, I couldn’t drive at night, and I had to wear sunglasses indoors often.
And the icing on the cake, the biggest gift of my life, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis aka Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS). For which I was prescribed Valtrex (anti-viral), from my primary doctor. The naturopath that I went to for a second opinion, prescribed a low dose of Naltrexone. Naltrexone is what they call and “opiate antagonist,” its given to drug addicts to block the effects of opiates in the brain. It was prescribed to me in a micro dose to decrease inflammation in my brain.
According to the CDC’s website, “Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) is a serious, long-term illness that affects many body systems. People with ME/CFS are often not able to do their usual activities. At times, ME/CFS may confine them to bed. People with ME/CFS have severe fatigue and sleep problems. ME/CFS may get worse after people with the illness try to do as much as they want or need to do. This symptom is known as post-exertional malaise (PEM). Other symptoms can include problems with thinking and concentrating, pain, and dizziness.”
It is considered a chronic disease thats affecting millions of people all over the world. They say that theres no cure. ME/CFS remains an enigma to most traditional healthcare providers because they don’t have the proper training. No amount of research, studies, or tests is providing any real information. They think the underlying cause is one or more chronic virus in the body. My blood test showed a total of three virus in my blood; Epstein Barr, Cytomegalovirus, an a form of Parvo.
They suggest seeing a therapist, eating a well balanced diet, taking nutritional supplements, and possibly meditation, deep breathing, or a massage.
They do know that when the nervous system is calm and relaxed, symptoms decrease.
After waiting for ten months to see a specialist, at one of the only Chronic Fatigue clinic’s in the world, they provided an additional protocol of a Mediterranean diet, turmeric, co-Q 10, dark chocolate for polyphenols, more anti-viral drugs and anti-depressants, which I declined.
At the same time, I was being seen by an Acupuncturist, because honestly, I don’t trust the Western Medical Establishment. In addition to Acupuncture treatments, I was experimenting with a dozen various supplements including; adaptogenic herbs, Chinese herbs, various minerals, anti-viral blends, blends to support hormone balance and immunity.
I tried aromatherapy oils, raw food diet, every detoxification method available, therapeutic massage, yoga, meditation, pranayama, exercise, cryotherapy, EFT (emotional freedom technique aka tapping), mantras, nutritional powders, elixirs, and anything and everything that said it would clear a virus, boost immunity, and provide energy to the body.
I was obsessively attempting to heal by taking supplements up to five times a day for years. My mom saw all of my vitamin boxes one day. Yes, I had three rectangular boxes, that I would refill each week, religiously. (You know, the plastic ones with AM on one side and PM on the other.) She said with a scoff, “Cheez, you look like and old person,” but I was in my mid-thirties.
I was also eating a gluten free, dairy free, primarily plant based diet, to heal my gut, because Leaky Gut was another new diagnosis.
And then the diagnosis stopped, because I took matters into my own heart and hands. In 2018, I worked with not one, but three women, who had helped other women like me to heal completely from ME/CFS. These women knew that it was in fact very curable. It was going to take some time, and my path was uniquely my own. They understood the root cause. They knew that the symptoms would subside as soon as I turned my attention deeply inward. Inward to the intelligence of my own body.
I know that its curable because I have almost healed completely. I don’t experience the “crashes” that ruled my life for years. Leaving me housebound and often bed bound.
Thankfully, I have been working with my current health guide, a trauma-informed coach, for the last year, to re-engineer my life so that I can repair my body, my brain and live the most optimum life.
Here I am today, a survivor of trauma who has tried almost every healing therapy available outside of myself to get better. When I was finally forced to listen to the voice inside that was telling me to “Stop!” I began to discover the wisdom within.
All of my Chronic Fatigue symptoms are actually those of an individual who has experienced trauma, and for me it was prolonged trauma beginning in early childhood, that I was not consciously aware of. I didn’t even know about it until it arose in my mid-twenties.
After all that I have been through, it is now my mission to heal myself completely, so that I may stand as a light for others.
Does any of this sound familiar to you?
Have you been told that nothings wrong when you still feel terrible?
Have you been prescribed a variety of drugs that don’t help at all?
Do you find yourself struggling to find balance with your health and overall wellness?
Have you been feeling frustrated with a current health diagnosis?
Please share your story. I see you and I hear you. I believe you. I love you and I support you.